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黑段子四则

2021-02-18 作者:故事大全 阅读:
  

黑段子之红姑娘

他在徒步旅游时,到一户人家家里借宿。这户人家只有三个人,一位六十来岁的老大爷,还有他的两个女儿。老大爷十分热情,捧出很多山里的水果请他吃。

他一眼就看到了红姑娘,这是一种小小的红色浆果,他只在小时候吃过,他抓起一串红姑娘,吃得满嘴都是。老大爷的两个女儿,一个去做饭了,另一个却坐在窗边看着他,掩着嘴笑了。

老大爷见他爱吃,忽然神色变得肃穆起来:“年轻人啊,你知道吗?俺们这儿最初并不长红姑娘。有一年,有个闺女被城里人骗得大了肚子,就穿着一身红跳了悬崖。从那以后,俺们这里才山前山后长满了红姑娘。”

老大爷忽然凑到他的耳边,神秘地说:“听说啊,吃了这红姑娘的人,总能看见一个穿着红色衣服的闺女盯着他,直到那人被盯得发了疯,跳下悬崖去。”

他打了个寒战,余光瞄着坐在窗边的那个姑娘,她身上正穿着一身红。姑娘忽然抿嘴无声地笑了一下,老大爷也哈哈大笑起来。他这才释然:“大爷,可不带这样吓人的!你都是有两个闺女的人了,怎么还开这种玩笑啊!”

老大爷忽然不笑了:“年轻人,你说什么呢?我可只有一个闺女啊!”

他望向窗边,可是那里哪还有什么穿红衣的姑娘,只有一串红得刺目的红姑娘,挂在窗边。

黑段子之通话

他找到了一个电话亭,观察了很久之后,才利用夜色的掩护,钻进去打起了电话。

“喂,你是谁啊?”女儿稚嫩的声音传来,他的眼泪差点掉下来。

杀了仇人一家五口,逃出家乡的他,已经很久没有听过女儿的声音了,他说:“宝贝,我是爸爸!”

“爸爸,我好想你啊!”女儿欢快地喊着。

“乖女儿,你还好吗?”

“我很好,他们天天陪我玩。”

“他们?”他警觉起来,不会是警察吧,“女儿,他们怎么陪你玩啊?”

“他们陪我玩捉迷藏,可是他们一找就能找到我,我却老也找不到他们。爸爸,你猜是怎么回事?”女儿稚气的声音里,似乎还挺快乐。

“爸爸不知道。”

“因为他们五个老是耍赖皮,飘在屋顶上不下来。”

黑段子之骑车

他习惯在下班后,到健身房去踩两小时的单车。在这样高强度的运动中,一天中积累的压力和疲劳都被汗水带走了。

在疾驰的快感中,他进入幻想世界,仿佛自己骑行在高山之巅、大海之滨。

不知为什么,今天,他高速骑行的幻想中,却是在一个繁华热闹的大都市。他在车水中逆行,毫不顾忌身边的车辆,把一连串惊慌的喇叭和怒骂声抛在了身后,感到极大的满足和

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愉悦。

突然,一辆跑车迎面冲来,他躲闪不及,整个人飞了出去。

猛地睁开双目,他发现自己还在健身房,不由得一阵庆幸,刚才的幻觉,实在太过真实

他喘息了好一阵才准备下车,忽然发现,单车的车轮已经被撞歪了。他下车想仔细察看一下,却已经站不住了,最终,他倒在地上,大口大口地吐血。

与此同时,千里之外的某个城市,跑车的主人,脸色煞白地看着被撞碎的车灯,还有车头上那一抹诡异的鲜血。

黑段子之离婚大战

他们总共也没见过几次面,便草草地结婚了。

可是婚后的生活却不尽如人意。她嫌他太胖,不大的空间都被他占据

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了。他嫌她太小气,完全不理解做鬼也风流是啥意思。

他们越吵越凶,越吵越激烈,终于,惊动了双方的父母。

“我儿子昨天给我托梦了……”

“我女儿也是……”

“原以为他们能好好相处,谁曾想,唉!”

“算了,好聚好散吧。”

“说的也是啊。”

两个老人边说边从一个骨灰盒里,挑出看起来像是自己孩子的骨头碎片,放在旁边各自带来的空骨灰盒里。

Introduce:He is in black Duan Zizhi's red girl when jaunt, to the stay overnight at sb else's place in home of a family. This other people has 3 people only, 60 come year old grandpa, still have two his daughters. The grandpa is very enthusiastic, hold a fruit in a lot of hill in both hands to ask him to eat. He saw red girl, this is a kind of small gules bacca, he been eatinging in one's childhood only, he grabs a string of red girl, eat completely the mouth is. Two daughters of the grandpa, one went cooking, another sits in window edge to look at him however, attack by surprise is worn the mouth laughed. The grandpa sees he loves to eat, suddenly expression becomes solemn and respectful rise: "Youth, do you know? Red girl does not grow at first here. Have a year, a girl is cheated greatly by oppidan abdomen, wearing a suit red jumped cliff. Since then, here th

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e overgrow after the hill before ability hill red girl. " suddenly collect goes to the grandpa by the side of his ear, uncannily says: "Hear, had this person of red girl, the girl that always can see one is wearing gules dress is staring at him, be stared at so that sent till that person mad, jump down cliff. " he hit a shiver, yu Guang is taking aim to sit in that girl of window edge, there is a suit on her body red. Suddenly close lightly mouth laughed at the girl soundlessly, the grandpa also bur

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sts out laughing. His this ability feels relieved: "Uncle, can not take so fearsome! You are the person that has two daughters, how to still open this kind of fun! " the grandpa did not laugh suddenly: "Youth, what do you say? I can have a daughter only! " he looks to window edge, but over there the girl that what still have to wear red clothes, have red girl of a string of red purpose that get thorn only, hang in window edge. Black Duan Zizhi communicates he found a booth, observed very long later, what just use the dim light of night is covering, get made a telephone call. "Hello, who are you? " the daughter's puerile sound is transmitted, his tear within an inch of falls down. Killed personal enemy one 5, escape he of a home town, already very long the voice that had not heard a daughter, he says: "Baby, I am father! " " father, I think you very much! " the daughter is crying livelily. "Good daughter, are you not bad? " " I am very good, they accompany me to play every day. " " they? " he rises alertly, won't be a police, "Daughter, how do they accompany you to play? " " they accompany me

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to play play hide-and-seek, but they search to be able to find me, I also often cannot find them however. Father, is you are guessed how to return a responsibility? " in the daughter's babyish sound, still hold out joy it seems that. "Father does not know. " " because of them 5 often make fun of rascally, wave not to come down on housetop. " black Duan Zizhi cycles he is used to after come off work, to the bicycle that gym goes to walking two hours. In

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